Love & other assets

The "Stuck" Factor With Deanna deBara

Episode Summary

In this episode of Love & other assets, Emily Luk sits down with writer and podcast host Deanna deBara to explore what it means to feel financially “stuck” and why it’s often a catalyst for growth. Deanna shares her journey through financial instability, the power of compassion over shame, and how open communication can transform relationships strained by money differences. Together, they unpack practical tools for navigating financial challenges, letting go of past resentments, and supporting a partner who feels stuck—while building a shared vision for the future.

Episode Notes

In this episode of Love & other assets, Emily Luk, CEO of Plenty, interviews writer and podcast host Deanna deBara. Deanna shares her personal experiences with financial "stuckness" and offers insights on how to navigate it, both individually and within relationships. She defines stuckness as the uncomfortable in-between place when your old ways don't work, but the new ones haven't yet emerged.

Deanna opens up about her past struggles with financial literacy and instability. She emphasizes the importance of compassion and self-education when confronting financial difficulties. Deanna stresses that you can't shame yourself into change, but compassion can be a catalyst for progress. She highlights the significance of understanding your relationship with money and having open conversations about finances with partners.

They discuss how different personalities approach money, and how these differences can lead to conflict within relationships. Deanna emphasizes the importance of open communication, compromise, and a willingness to grow together and let go of past resentments. Deanna explains the need to regulate nervous systems, and taking breaks during difficult conversations, when these triggers happen. She shares her personal ritual of writing down resentments to release them.

Deanna also shares insights on supporting a partner who feels stuck. She encourages empathy and holding space for their feelings, while also empowering them to find their own path forward. She underscores the need to differentiate between being "stuck" and facing mental health challenges. She closes by discussing the importance of having shared vision and being supportive of each other's differences and goals.

What we discussed:

  1. Ever feel like you're just spinning your wheels with your finances? What if that "stuck" feeling isn't a failure, but a necessary step toward something better? We dive into what it really means to be "stuck" and why it's not as bad as you think.
  2. Do you beat yourself up over past money mistakes? Prepare to have your mind blown: Shaming yourself won't get you anywhere. We discover the surprising power of compassion in transforming your financial life.
  3. Are money talks with your partner like navigating a minefield? Turns out, it doesn't have to be! Discover the secrets to having open, honest conversations about finances – even when you have totally different approaches.
  4. Saver vs. Spender? Is it a recipe for disaster? Learn how to bridge the gap and understand that your money baggage and your partner's money baggage are both influencing how you handle money in your relationship.
  5. Resentment about past money missteps? Ever wonder if that resentment you are harboring is actually doing more harm to you than anyone else? We uncover why letting go of past resentments is crucial for a healthy financial and romantic future.
  6. Is your partner feeling "stuck," but you're not sure how to help? Learn how to be a truly supportive partner, without falling into the trap of enabling them to stay stuck. Discover the fine line between helping and hindering.

Ready to get unstuck, together? Download this episode and prepare for some eye-opening conversations!

Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Brought to you by Plenty. Plenty is a wealth platform designed specifically for couples to build wealth, together. We go beyond budgeting, making it simple to invest, save and grow towards your future goals by unlocking access to the financial strategies of the wealthy.

 

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Deanna deBara: Website| LinkedIn

Connect with Emily Luk: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Plenty: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter/X

 

PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Channing Allen

Season of stuck